Thanksgiving EMDR
Photograph by Victor Bloomberg, October 3, 2024, The Wisconsin Dells
Introduction
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a method used by psychotherapists to lessen and even eliminate the effects of trauma. Trained in 2002, I use three-phases: Preparation, Resourcing, and Desensitization.
Preparation can take months, because the client and I need to get to know each other very well. We confirm that the client can manage the aftermath of an EMDR session; the aftermath can include re-emergence of more trauma experiences.
Resourcing is built using the Bilateral Stimulation devised by EMDR. It is one many self-care tools. Bilateral Stimulation uses eye movement (think of the hypnotist with a pocket watch). This may mimic Rapid Eye Movement (REM) and has been shown to improve REM sleep. (1) Resourcing is a meditative state that draws upon the client’s resiliency.
Montage by Victor Bloomberg, January 13, 2025
Desensitization allows a past trauma to be activated without the release of molecules such as cortisol nor re-ignite the bio-electrical shock sustained during the original injury. It is as if the trauma was like a venomous snake that, after EMDR, its bite no longer releases poison. While its bite startles, it no longer re-injures, it is “defanged”.
This session was recorded with Client’s permission whose voice was altered, and the transcript has been edited for brevity and for flow. The purpose is to show healing as it occurs, and the hard-to-see effects of past trauma on current experience. The injustices of our society reinforce past trauma and the hope is that the “defanged bite” adds to resiliency. It contains unique terms that are specific to psychotherapy as I practice it. For example, “surfing” refers to the release of molecules and bio-electricity whenever past trauma is re-entered at a time when the person knows they are absolutely safe and respected. The concept, “surfing”, is based upon my understanding of EMDR theory, polyvagal theory (Stephan Porges), as well as my own scholarship and clinical observations. The session is a good example of client/clinician teamwork.
(1) "We showed that symptom remission after EMDR therapy was associated with significantly increased REMs number and density in REM sleep." (Rousseau, P.F., et al, Nature: Scientific Reports, Sleep parameters improvement in PTSD soldiers after symptoms remission, “Discussion”, paragraph 1, 23 April 2021)
The audio and transcript is provided with permission by the client. Recommendation: Read the transcript and then listen to the audio.
Feel free to submit questions and comments by using the Contact form.
Thanksgiving EMDR Begins
DrVic: And then later I'll upload an audio file.
[Resourcing Begins to Evoke Unconditional Self-Love]
I create a space in my room that is welcoming.
I can embody hospitality and generosity of spirit.
I feel pride in my chest, there’s a big breath.
The place is my dining table.
(Bilateral Stimulation Proceeding) Hypnotic Eye Movement
[Discussion Begins]
On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate this belief I embody hospitality and generosity of spirit?
Client: Four?
DrVic: And what came up for you as you were resourcing?
Client: Not ready yet to be generous with my spirit or hospitable, you know, like, that's tomorrow. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving and I have all these things I still need to do before I can be this person. There are barriers in my way.
DrVic: So here's my question. Can you see in your mind's-eye time around the dining table where you did embody hospitality and generosity of spirit?
Client: Yes.
DrVic: Okay. So this is a thought mistake you and others make. We are not conditioning you for Shangri-La.
Client: That would be nice.
DrVic: That's not going to happen with me. The old wounds will still bite. They just won't release poison.
So the point of resourcing is to connect to that part of yourself, which when conditions are good, your belief is manifested.
Client: It's not checking off a bunch of boxes and then I can be that person.
DrVic: No, it's just that you have this capacity, this quality, this characteristic. And sometimes you - think of, think of flowers as an example. They bloom and blossom in certain times of year, certain weather, and other times they hunker down and wait till the thaw and things like that. Right?
Client: Okay. Yeah.
DrVic: Well, we're the same.
Client: Okay. So we're going to do a round resourcing again. It's going to be thinking about this as like a flower. I'm going to go to that.
DrVic: Go to that good space within you. That's always there, but oftentimes, unfortunately, it's finally difficult to access the goodness that is you. Okay?
Client: I think I'm ready. Okay. I'm ready to practice it.
[Resourcing Begins to Evoke Unconditional Self-Love]
DrVic: You create a space in my home that is welcoming, embodies hospitality and generosity of spirit. You feel pride in my chest, a big breath. The place is my dining table.
(Bilateral Stimulation Proceeding) Hypnotic Eye Movement
[Discussion Begins]
So on a scale of zero to 10, how would you rate the belief that you embody hospitality and generosity of spirit?
Client: I'd say that it's a 10? I feel a little disingenuous jumping straight to a 10. I want to say like ten, but I don't know.
DrVic: In addition to your reflex not to jump to perfection, anything else come up for you?
Client: The thought of this is me, right? This is a part of me that is legit and could even be the biggest part of me, right? I like being that person. It brings a smile to my face to think about being that person. So yeah, that's why it's kind of like, yeah, I am. I have it there. I am there. I just have to remember to go access it, you know?
DrVic: And develop the skills to access it.
Client: I feel like it's been a while since I've felt genuinely in that space.
DrVic: It brings a smile to my face, the realization. Shall we add that to the emotions in the body?
Client: Yeah, with the pride in the chest. Yeah.
DrVic: And a smile in my face.
Client: Yeah.
DrVic: I'm just putting it.
Client: I'm not faking the smile. I'm not like, I should be smiling right now. It's just like, no, when I'm feeling this way. Yeah, I have a smile on my face.
DrVic: Let's do this one more time.
[Resourcing Begins to Evoke Unconditional Self-Love]
I create a space in my home that is welcoming.
I embody hospitality and generosity of spirit.
I feel pride. I feel that in my chest, the big breath.
And the smile I feel on my face.
And the place this is real is my dining room table.
(Bilateral Stimulation Proceeding) Hypnotic Eye Movement
[Discussion Begins]
Client: Yeah. I feel good. Let's do this.
DrVic: Now, let's jump to the negative, “I will never measure up.” Is anything going on that is upsetting you currently? That negative belief really doesn't address it. It's some other negative thing.
Client: I will tell you right now that a core belief is a destination point. That if someone touches it, it's painful. It sends gyroscope wobbling for me. As a result of that, I've had scenarios where I have reacted in the past weeks to several weeks. We've talked about them. So the negative belief that is really sticking with me about what it is, like a reactive, harmful, as I said earlier, villain in my own story.
Yeah, as I talk through it, what I'm coming to is, no, let's stick with that. Because that is still the underbelly that is getting poked, even inadvertently. Even when they don't mean to say that. Even when they are saying something completely different. If I interpret it as, I did that wrong, I didn't do that right, I wasn't good enough, once again, here I failed, it's enough to really trigger my anger response. I don't love that.
DrVic: You will take it personally.
Client: Yes.
DrVic: It sort of isn't. It might be, it might not be. But regardless, the doorknob is on the chest.
Client: Doorknob is perpetually outside.
DrVic: It is the reason you sometimes react, you can't tell me what to do, you're not the boss of me, is because whatever the other person is saying or doing, you interpret as never good enough?
Client: Just now, I'm putting two and two together, because I'm thinking through all the times where we've [spouses] either jokingly said you're not the boss of me, or very seriously said I need you to stop attempting to control me is another phrase I use when I'm feeling elevated. The obvious one is biting my nails. She's trying to be gentle, sweet. I turn around like you're not the boss of me. I don't say it all the time, can you just, can you just leave me alone right now? Can you just let me do that? Let me let you, you know, harm yourself. Which is what it is.
(Exhales)
But yeah, it always comes from that too, because I'm biting my nails. Is that what I'm doing? I'm not good enough. Victor, we are getting, we are getting to it.
DrVic: Your human reaction indicates prior conditioning, which you have conditioned as well. That's all it signifies. So let me see if I got this right. I'm biting my nails. (Spouse) brings it to my attention. My nails?
Client: It seems so simple.
DrVic: While you were growing up, and actually extending into adulthood, constantly putting yourself down, defective, deficient. It comes out in all these little, they're self-demeaning.
Client: Right.
DrVic: So I don't assume anything is, do you have a goal to stop that?
Client: So there's always, there's two answers to that. The answer, the right answer is yeah. The answer that comes out, if I'm honest with myself, is emotions go up, my desire goes. Like, in the last several weeks, you know, the roller coaster, and so where, where do I go?
DrVic: I'm glad you don't just give the quote unquote correct answer. So here's how it goes. It's a prevent defense. In other words, do to myself, better.
Client: Just, just waiting until you, yup, yup. It's only a matter of time before you do it right back to me, or before you do it to me. You've no reputation of ever doing that to me, Victor.
DrVic: Yeah, but [there's] the unconscious, irrational surrogate of your parents. So there are times when you're experiencing me as your mother or father. And so you are in the habit with the quips, the throwaway [lines]. Shall we go with biting out as the example? You can feel it inmediatamente en tu cuerpo.
Client: I can't pick anything up right now because of the pain I caused myself.
DrVic: This time we went through emotions, the one that we settled in on, was fear, shame and guilt, and you feel it as your...
Client: Yeah, word for word.
DrVic: So we're going to the negative belief, so in resourcing we have a ten. It's a measure that shows, yeah, we got the positive belief that produces harmonics and resonates. There will be split attention where the - this negative belief is generated, you can achieve a split awareness. Well, here's the positive. The goal is to recognize the negative belief, defang it, and take away it's bioelectrical charge and the molecular poison [that] is released when you succumb to the negative belief. So tell me when you're ready.
Client: Okay, so we’re focusing on the negative, let's do it, let's see what happens.
DrVic: I'm biting my nails, [Spouse] brings it to my…I'll never be good enough. The emotions, fear, shame and guilt, and headache.
Client: Let's do it, let's see what happens.
(Bilateral Stimulation Proceeding) Hypnotic Eye Movement
Client: Two more physical sensations. Core, like I'm clenching the physical sensations of like, I live this scenario all the time. It's now like nine o'clock and I haven't done the dishes. There's that moment of like, you're not the boss of me, I'll get to them, right? But there's also the idea of like, no, we are a partnership. We do have responsibility. I can't entirely blame you for telling me what to do. Technically, I volunteered to do the dishes.
DrVic: I understand the shame and guilt, but what are you afraid of? Fear of what?
Client: I will be that person that is unreliable.
DrVic: You're not good.
Client: Right, right. It's not that sense of, okay, so I slipped up. I need a little bit more practice. No, it's like a personality flaw. I'm a person who bites my nails. That's a flaw, and that's what I'm afraid of being that. That doesn't make any sense. That's not how it should be, but you said it was a--
DrVic: A thought mistake.
Client: [inaudible]
DrVic: It's just a mistake. See, you live in a culture and a time where people classify according to defects.
Lesbian is a defect. Jew is a defect. Immigrant is a defect. My thinking is defective. And you really are practically perfect in every way, just working on new skills. One of the skills is recognizing the false consciousness that keeps generating self-destructive behavior. There’s also another term from the same milieu used, is internalized oppression. That is: What is done to you, it becomes part of you. That is the sickness of the world we live in. So the thought mistake is a characteristic - Nailbiter.
Client: I think I'm ready.
DrVic: Okay.
[Desensitization to Lessen the Impact of Trauma Memory]
How do you mean the nails? You know, if I bite my nails, I believe I will never measure [up]. I will never be good. I fear that I'm not good. It's a personality flaw about that. I feel it in my gut. Jaw clenching.
(Bilateral Stimulation Proceeding) Hypnotic Eye Movement
How would you rate the negative belief?
Client: And the thought that came to my mind, Vic, it was - It's actually just hard to know - How much of this isn't 50-50? I'll go with a five, because it feels like I'm in the push pull.
DrVic: So the rating is a blunt instrument. What the experience you feel in your body, [molecules are] released, electricity being released. You're surfing, there's some change. You feel like crying, you feel like laughing, your skin tone changes. You flush, whatever, these physiological events. Some of which we can give the name of emotions to, but others are just physiological, like my jaw's not clenched. That tells you you're surfing. And so you get focused on the metrics, but the metrics is just to give me a sense as well as yourself.
Client: I would say when you said that, I feel kind of prickly. I really want to say this out loud. I thought I knew what surfing felt like, right? We've done a lot of practice. Because I had the temptation of going, all right, jump all the way. Both feet into the good stuff, right? That's the whole point of this exercise. Jump both feet. And I was like, no, that's not that authentic.
DrVic: The purpose of this is to surf. Injuries of the past, whether it was this morning, last night or yesteryear, still bite. Injuries bite when we re-enter them. But they don't need to release toxins.
Client: Yes. Can we do it again?
[Desensitization to Lessen the Impact of Trauma Memory]
DrVic: So I'm biting my nails. What, I'm not good enough when I bite my nails? Negative belief is I will never measure up. Never be good enough. And I fear that I'm not good. That's the personality flaw. And I feel shame and guilt. A clenching in my core, in my gut. Jaw clenching.
(Bilateral Stimulation Proceeding) Hypnotic Eye Movement
On a scale of zero to 10, how would you rate the negative belief? I will never measure up.
Client: One. Two.
DrVic: So I want you to add in your thoughts. After "my jaw clenching", Silly wabbit! You can bite me, but I'm not going to bite myself.
Client: I think that's a great idea. What stopped it from being a pure zero was this is like a defining belief. This is like a core belief. This is something that is, if you don't have this underpinning, even when I'm being hospitable, is it because I'm really uncomfortable? There's that doubt.
I don't know, wait. I am that person. And this doesn't, it doesn't feel poisonous and…Right. But can I really solve this in the 48 minutes.
DrVic: You learn to recognize the toxic conditioning pumped into you that you're cracked. Yucky. You recognize that and the feeling gets replaced with anger. And humor. You have total power in your reaction to the bite.
Client: Yes. I'm not this good person. I'm not, I can't go hang out in this good part of it. No. You can. You know, it's there. You just have to practice it. No, we're not fixing anything. We're not taking this away. We're not taking away the bad trait. We're coexisting.
DrVic: It is you. You are owning all of your experience.
Client: Right. Can we do it again?
[Desensitization to Lessen the Impact of Trauma Memory]
DrVic: You can't tell me what to do. You're not the boss of me. Stop trying to control me. So I'm biting my nails. What? I'm not good enough because I bite my nails? Hmm, negative belief - I will never measure up. I will never be good enough. And I feel that emotion, the fear that I'm not good enough. That the personality. Well, I feel shame. And guilt. I feel in my gut. A headache. A punching in my core. My jaw clenching. Silly wabbit! You can bite me. But I won't bite myself.
(Bilateral Stimulation Proceeding) Hypnotic Eye Movement
Client: I think I'm smiling.
DrVic: Yeah. And the dining room table is [your] own spirit.
Client: Yeah. It's like I create a space in my home. It's welcoming. No, I created a space that is me to…
DrVic: Yeah.
Client: - sit in, I don't have to be other than that. Really neat. Really cool to like see it all the way through his process. And I don't feel like I fixed my soul. It actually feels like this is just a state of being. Right? Like there's a space between me and my body. There's space between me and my thoughts. I'm able to actually breathe.
Thank you. And Happy Thanksgiving. I am so grateful for you.
DrVic: Happy Thanksgiving. I'm grateful for you too. See you next week.
Links
When Do Emotions Injure or Heal? An introduction to the science of emotions and our reactions.
Self-Care Five It is an easy-to-use reminder about how to be nice to yourself.
Meditation Two videos: a 2-minute explanation of why it works and a guided meditation that allows your mind to wander.
Transformative Psychotherapy and Telehealth: Qualitative Findings
